From the daily archives:

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

John McCain, Mitt Romney, Mike Huckabee

by Frank Paynter on February 5, 2008

McCain
McCain is winning right now. He has grabbed New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, and Delaware. God help us if this dimwitted, violent, unethical son-of-a-bitch is our next President.

Dimwitted — graduated 894th out of 899 in his class at the Naval Academy
Violent — Right up to his twenties, he remained a strikingly violent man, “ready to fight at the drop of a hat”, according to his biographer Robert Timberg.
Unethical — one of the Keating five.
Son-of-a-bitch — just ask him.

Romney
Rick Santorum supports Mitt. God help us all if this man is elected president and appoints his supporters to positions of public trust. Mitt seems to be slipping away, spending the nut and not getting any return. Hopefully he’ll run out of money soon. He won Utah tonight, and promises us all, and particularly his main-man propagandist “Rush” Limbaugh that he will keep struggling for the nomination.

Mike Huckabee — evangelical christian. Believes in heaven and hell. Therefore believes in after life where good soldiers get their reward. Therefore believes in war and all that other medieval bullshit. God help us if we let him go all medieval on our asses. Seems to be in the campaign to spoil things for Romney, so he’s not all bad. Of course if he spoils things for Romney McCain will be nominated, so he’s not all good.

[tags]huckabee, romney, mccain[/tags]

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Super Tuesday — West Virginia Crocuses

by Frank Paynter on February 5, 2008

Crocus is a genus of perennial flowering plants. The genus crocus is placed botanically in the iris family. The plants grow from corms and are mainly hardy perennials. There are about eighty species of crocus (of which approximately 30 are cultivated). Is Mike Huckabee cultivated? It doesn’t matter whether he’s wild or cultivated. He seems to have done well with the West Virginia crocuses. Congratulations Mike! Those 18 delegates give you a total of 25. That gives you and Romney together a total of 52 delegates. McCain has 89. Going to be a long march to the convention for all of you I’m afraid. Won’t it just piss you off when Joe Lieberman steps in as the spoiler?

[tags]christian fear of death and its influence on politics, bizarre rituals, mike huckabee[/tags]

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Vote Roosevelt!

February 5, 2008

Elk, that is. Our friend Joanna snapped these pictures from her living room. Impressive neighbors in a beautiful neighborhood!

Â© Joanna Lynch
From the living room window!

Â© Joanna Lynch
These Roosevelt elk make our local White-tailed deer look like munchkins.
[tags]Roosevelt Elk[/tags]

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This just in!

February 5, 2008

Embarrassed by media attention, election officials have locked down the second precinct in Snobbler’s Crotch, Alabama. The Liebold voting machine was moved from the precinct polling place at the Robert Johnson Bait and Tackle shop to the first precinct at the George Wallace Court House where a recount could be conducted without undue pressure. [...]

Super Tuesday: Earliest results just in…

February 5, 2008

Voters in tiny Snobbler’s Crotch, Alabama continued their Super Tuesday tradition by voting earliest and voting most often. The crossroads town (not found on any map) is located in a sheltered valley northwest of Muscle Shoals near the Alabama/Tennessee/Mississippi border. Pundits consider it a bellwether indicator for both Alabama and Tennessee on Super [...]

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