Listics

As I watch him pulling the chickens across the floor, I’m reminded of last night’s dominant dream… Turner was helping from England and we had charts of the currents in th elakes, not a Lake Ekalake thing exactly, but somehow a modeling for the Atlantic, and as I pulled the cord to drag that suitcase across the ocean floor it became obvious to all of us that the weight of the cord itself would cause it to fray and snap. So we patched in some canvas hose, strong material, much like the fire hoses you see coiled in hotel halls in the movies, the type of hose strong enough to hold an action hero as he bails out of the 13th floor window and drops a few floors to come crashing back into a room where a lady, carefully coiffed and wearing a white dress, is eating cake, and her eyes grow round and her mouth does too as she utters an “ohhhh,” expressing her surprise to see a stranger there.

Cathy Wilkes in a 1920’s get-up

So I pulled this suitcase across the ocean floor and naturally it got hung up on the mid-Atlantic ridge and the cord snapped anyway. Later, to continue the experiment, we dropped the suitcase west of the ridge, but as Turner pointed out there was no practical advantage to be gained by a method that required us to start past the middle. Still we experienced a feeling of success since we were able to beach that sodden suitcase on the shore of the lake here.

as if her work is coated in some slick substance that allows it to slip past the critical barrier, taking up residence in the thoughts of her audience unmediated

We’ve topped 100 inches of snowfall this year in the Madison area. The previous record snowfall was 76+ inches, set in 1978-79. The average snowfall is just over 49 inches. It’s snowing again today, but it’s Spring already, so to hell with it. I changed my header graphic in anticipation of April. (Flowers to report so far? Four snowdrops and a single lonely crocus. yesterday the crocuses looked just about ready to pop, but with today’s snow I’m thinking it will be another day or two before they appear en masse.

Technorati Tags: icky white stuff, climate change

For the girl who already has her little pony: Accessorize! Accessorize! Accessorize!

The Glambo Signature Series “My Little Pony” M4A1 carbine with forward handgrip and AN-PVS4 night vision sight. This fully functional weapon fires standard 5.56mm ammunition — great for those AR-15 fans with extra ammo lying around the house or even extra parts! (Note: the full-auto selection has been disabled in this model in favor of three-round-burst. This product cannot be shipped to California.) The perfect way to introduce your little princess to the wonders of nocturnal wet-work!
A bargain at only $1,147.95! (Compare to stock M4’s at $1,300.00!)

And if “My Little Pony” isn’t the semi-auto for you, there’s a fully functional “Hello Kitty” Kalashnikov available with a hand crocheted pink shoulder stock muffler!

And what girl wouldn’t love the Lady Di .460 S&W handgun? “The most beautiful woman in the world on the most powerful handgun in the world.” I’m not sure but I think you can get the Rainbow Brite reloader set-up to load 300 grain .460 magnums, just what you need for a flat shooting “big game” perimeter of 250 yards and a ten inch kill circle!

Unfortunately costs to heat my house each winter are going up faster than the temperature:

What Would Jesus Buy?

MedicineBag(hex-dump

Another post in the Typepad genre she invented.

Technorati Tags: sports, global warming, we got firez, we got floodz, bazeball been berry berry good to me

I have a friend in sales. Have you ever seen “Tin Men?” My friend Baxter (close enough to his real name) told me this story at least five years before the movie came out, so I have no reason to disbelieve (except the guy is in sales, so…). Anyway, Bax was working with a team selling aluminum siding in the cities and towns along both sides of the Mississippi from St. Louis to Dubuque. They drove a big Caddy that was a few years old, and they worked from a lead list. They’d come screaming around the corner in that Cadillac, hop the curb and leave it parked sideways in the prospect’s yard. Bax would go up the front steps, pound on the door, and if the first words out of the prospect’s mouth were not, “GET THAT HEAP OFF MY LAWN!” then Bax knew he had a sale.

What that has to do with a list of cars I’ve owned, I do not know, but it came to mind when the Head Lemur pointed out that Doc, Jeneane, and he have all done this exercise and rather than trying to sell t-shirts for zero commish, I might enjoy even more a stroll down that memory freeway trying to recall all the heaps I’ve ever owned. I’ve been meaning to do it since I saw the post at Doc’s, but I’ve been holding off on reading the others so they don’t unduly influence my warm memories of waiting in a frozen parking lot at 2am for my dad to come and jump start our shitty ‘52 Buick before someone froze to death. Here then are…

ALL MY RIDES

A quick count says I’ve supported global production of vehicles and gasoline to the tune of 18 cars or trucks and four scooters over a forty-five year period. I’ve also owned a single gear bike, a ten speed with multinational brakes, frame, derailleurs, etc., and my current Trek mountain bike. There’s a canoe down in the barn too, but that probably doesn’t count.

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