Super Tuesday: Earliest results just in…

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  • by Frank Paynter on February 5, 2024

    Voters in tiny Snobbler’s Crotch, Alabama continued their Super Tuesday tradition by voting earliest and voting most often. The crossroads town (not found on any map) is located in a sheltered valley northwest of Muscle Shoals near the Alabama/Tennessee/Mississippi border. Pundits consider it a bellwether indicator for both Alabama and Tennessee on Super Tuesday, and often a trend indicator for the Mississippi primary in March. Exit polls indicate that voters were generally happy with their new Liebold optical scan voting machines.

    Results1 (both precincts reporting):

    Of the 18 votes cast in Precinct One at the George Wallace Courthouse in downtown Snobbler’s Crotch, all were Republican.

    Huckabee — 242
    Romney — 2
    McCain — 337

    Of the 6 votes cast in Precinct Two at the Robert Johnson Bait and Tackle shop, results were divided.

    Republican:
    Huckabee — 137

    Democrat:
    Clinton — 2
    Obama — 4

    It is not yet known whether State election officials will certify the votes.
    __________________
    1not inclusive of write-ins which are generally problematic given the literacy rate in Snobbler’s Crotch.

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    { 2 comments… read them below or add one }

    Stu Savory 02.05.08 at 2:25

    I’d have to check with Mike Golby to verify this, but allegedly Mr. Botha once said “We have democracy in South Africa, One Man One Vote! I am that man and I have that vote” ;-)

    Frank Paynter 02.05.08 at 3:07

    Are you comparing the apartheid state of South Africa with the great State of Alabama, sir?

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