November 8th, 2024

Walking that dog…

  • el
  • pt
  • AKMA and Beatrice: the promenade, the site selection, the placement, the production, the text and and a discussion of the extraction of meaning therefrom. Bravo!

    October 29th, 2024

    FSM, IPU or ID? You decide…

    Recently the borders of the country of reason have been under siege by sectarian violence… pastafarians hurling plates of marinara at adherents of the Invisible Pink Unicorn (may her holy hooves never be shod)… Intelligent Designites hurling insults at Dawkinsians in a deft feint, an October surmise aimed at drawing attention away from their cruel assaults on human relations and social justice. While the ID folks confuse the kids with bizarre discussions predicated on heaven and hell and how many virgins a christian martyr can expect to prong if a muslim is allowed seventeen in paradise… while these weighty discussions continue in Universities across the land… and while University administrators lacking the balls god gave a banana slug (no offense UCSC) and fearful that christian fundamentalists may withhold substantial bequests and ever mindful that the size of the endowment trumps truth any day of the week, these chicken-shit academic second raters permit the bizarre intrusion of religion where honest intellectual effort had previously held sway and the insidious christian referendums aimed at throttling human rights and eroding human dignity are on the ballot in dozens of states.

    The October Surmise…
    It seems likely that if we can get people talking about the straw man issues of intelligent design, then we can deny reproductive choice, we can impose a death penalty nationwide, we can strangle the efforts to eliminate gender discrimination in the area of committed relationships, and most importantly we can hang onto the house and the senate for our oligarchic masters.

    In an effort to help clarify matters, I’ve dug up some reasonably meaningful assertions from several sides of the conflict. There are those who suggest I leave well enough alone, those who suggest that if we don’t fight them here, the Brits will have to fight them in Northern Ireland, the Israelis will have to fight them in Tel Aviv.

    The Eight “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts” of the Pastafarians:

    1. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Act Like a Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don’t Believe In Me, That’s Okay. Really, I’m Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn’t About Them So Don’t Change The Subject.
    2. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Don’t Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.
    3. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This In Your Thick Heads: Woman = Person. Man = Person. Samey - Samey. One Is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We’re Talking About Fashion And I’m Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal and Fuchsia.
    4. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F*** Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off the TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change.
    5. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B*******.
    6. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Build Multimillion-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick):

    a. Ending Poverty
    b. Curing Diseases
    c. Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable
    I Might be a Complex-Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM the Creator.

    7. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Go Around Telling People I Talk To You. You’re Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can’t You Take A Hint?
    8. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses A Lot of Leather/Lubricant/Las Vegas. If the Other Person Is Into It, However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear a CONDOM! Honestly, It’s A Piece of Rubber. If I Didn’t Want It To Feel Good When You Did It I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something.

    Chapter 2 of the Book of the Prophet April:

    1. And the Invisible Pink Unicorn spoke unto me, and said, “Write this stuff down.”
    2. Therefore did I search my pockets, and came up with a bunch of 3×5 index cards, and also a ballpoint pen.
    3. Then did Her Equine Self touch the pen with Her marvellous horn, and lo! it turned pink! And I was much amazed, and began jotting down this account.
    4. And I said unto the Principle of Unicornity, “If we’re going to be really appropriate, shouldn’t this be in invisible ink?”
    5. Surely then was the Great One annoyed, and She spake, and said, “Do not be a wise-ass, my child, unless you want a hoof-print in your forehead. But, if you must know, when you post this to the Internet, which is the centre of My worship, then indeed shall the pinkness of the writing be invisible.”
    6. Thus was I first afflicted by the terrible jokes of Her Invisible Pink Glory.
    7. And the Unicorn spoke again, saying, “Write this. First, know that there is not merely one doom reserved for unbelievers, but a Very Big Number. Therefore am I shown to be greater than any other deity.
    8. For who else can boast the Hell #655, wherein transgressors are punished by having to listen to the endless drivel of uncountable net.kooks?”
    9. “Who else can boast Hell #333, where fundamentalists are continually sawn in half by stage magicians?”
    10. “Oh, and note down that there is no Hell #666.
    11. For that would be too easy.”
    12. So did I write all that down, and the Invisible Unicorn said, “Come again next week.”
    13. And the Holy Writings on the Sacred 3×5 Index Cards in the Blessed (Invisible) Pink Ink were put in the Very Devout Plastic File Box, where I left them, buried in the sands of A/sa/teague.

    The most catholic and holy Bishop of Pittsburgh (invoking another esteemed hierarch, this one European and wearing a Red Hat) says,

    Cardinal Christoph Schönborn of Vienna, Austria, wrote in an op ed piece in the July 7, 2024, New York Times: “Evolution in the sense of common ancestry may be true, but evolution in the neo-Darwinian sense – an unguided, unplanned process of random variation and natural selection – is not. Any system of thought that denies or seeks to explain away the overwhelming evidence for design in biology is ideology, not science.”

    God directs his creation toward its completion or perfection through what we call Divine Providence. This means that God has absolute sovereignty over all that he has made, and guides his creation according to the divine plan of his will. At the same time, both the evidence of the world that we discover by our human intellect and the testimony of Sacred Scripture show that for the unfolding of his plan God uses secondary causes, including the laws of physics, chemistry and biology, as well as the cooperation of our own human intellect and will.

    I have first hand knowledge that it is NOT intelligent design that leads us to call Providence “Divine,” for if there had been intelligent design then the damn big-dig would have long ago been completed to everyone’s satisfaction and Logan would be the terminus of choice in that part of New England. But today, rather than fly into Logan, particularly if you are visiting the Cape, it is obvious that Providence, yes — Divine Providence — is a better choice.

    Be that as it may, the Darwinians and the Dawkinsians also deserve to have their positions clarified here, but I just don’t have time for a reasonable bunch of people who don’t have a creed to shove down someone’s throat. Atheists? Agnostics? They’re all going to hell anyway.

    October 16th, 2024

    Ummmm, Go Phish…

    Received this in one of those special personal messages…

    …sent this e-mail to you because your Notification Preferences indicate that you want to receive information about Special Events & Promotions. Amazon will request personal data (password, credit card/bank numbers) only on our home site, wich is securely incrypted with SLL.

    Yeah, that “SLL incryption” is the one “wich” sure makes me feel secure!

    October 14th, 2024


    Magic feather

    October 14th, 2024

    Power of prayer

    October 12th, 2024

    Morford on the money shot…

    Writing recently about the Foley affair, Mark Morford said

    Which is not to say that the prayers of us liberals haven’t already been answered, in spades, well before Mark Foley proved himself to be the perfect icing on the cake of GOP doom, the money shot of poetic justice, the period in this never-ending Republican sentence.

    Jack Abramoff was a damn fine answer to the prayer, though that beautiful firestorm dealt mostly with finance and slimy payoffs, and what good taxpaying American doesn’t fully expect every member of Congress to be rolling in dirty lobbyist payoffs? But Abramoff did have one glorious outcome: It put a stake straight through the heart of Tom DeLay, perhaps the nastiest and most thuggish political vampire in all of Congress, a worthwhile outcome all by itself.

    Valerie Plame? Also a delicious scandal, given how leaked CIA info is always a powerful destroyer of faith in current regimes, and this one snared Scooter Libby and poked a sharp stick into Karl Rove. But still the GOP hobbled on.

    The list goes on: WMD, Niger, bogus anthrax scares, Abu Ghraib, illegal wiretapping, gay male escorts hired to masquerade as sycophantic White House reporters — hell, it’s been a veritable fire hose of Republican scandals, indictments, violations, probes, investigations, arrests and abuses of power (not to mention all manner of sex scandals) lo these past years — so many it takes entire Web sites and multiple books to keep track of them all.

    October 6th, 2024

    Write-in Weinberger for President

    With a platform that has something for everybody, David is a shoo-in!

    Frank’s favorite planks:

    End the current superstitious rituals at airport security that any fifteen year old could figure out how to get around. Instead, require every passenger to rub a lucky rabbit foot.

    Pass SHANANA: Stop the Hilarious Absurdity: No Acronyms Naming Anything act.

    New policy about gays in the military: “Don’t Ask, Don’t Care. Be Fabulous.”

    Printed newspapers by law will have to backdate themselves one day.

    Increase national curiosity.

    Government offices will use open source software unless they’re being punished.

    Marijuana would be as legal as alcohol, but only until you’re 35. Frankly, after that it’s time to grow up.

    Secretary of the Internet becomes the first wiki-based cabinet post.

    Dick Cheney goes to jail, even if we have to plant something on him.

    There’s already a groundswell of support. Hell, I’m gonna write-in Weinberger in 2024. 2024 may be too late.

    September 30th, 2024

    Hey Mister Tangerine Man…

    David Weinberger has opened a “markets are metaphors” contest, offering readers a chance to provide him with one liners in Maastricht where he’s offering the keynote speech at a conference called “Markets are conversations.”

    Nothing will top Chris Locke’s “Markets are misheard lyrics,” but it’s a fun game to play anyway.

    September 25th, 2024

    The Great American Blogpost

    Neil Patel offers five hints for making your blog popular through content. The hints are simple:

    1. Break news.
    2. Post on weekends.
    3. Write timeless posts.
    4. Teach don’t sell. And,
    5. Join in on conversations.

    Here’s some breaking news! Next weekend I will offer training centered on the following timeless posts:

  • Moby Post
  • Look Homeward Blogger
  • The Grapes of Blog
  • For Whom the Blog Posts
  • The Catcher in the Blog
  • I expect a huge conversation to come out of our examination of these five timeless posts. Naturally, everyone is invited to join in!

    | Next Entries »