A second tier management consulting firm contacted me. They are looking for a project executive in Madison. “The project executive will need to be able to establish the structure and manage a multi-million dollar, multi-year initiative…” and so forth. Really they’re looking for a rain maker. They haven’t won that business yet, and if they do, the project executive will need to be pounding the pavement and pressing the flesh in an effort to shovel ever more contracts into the gaping maw of Moloch.
Wait. Somewhere my professional perspective slipped for a moment. No demons there, no Canaanite deities looking for human sacrifice. Just a few people trying to get by… I told them I was not a rain maker. Then to seal the not-a-deal, I dummied up. I forgot about similar efforts I’ve engaged in, modest successes…. In short, I couldn’t find the spizz to toot my own horn. Horn tootage was what they were after. I couldn’t play that tune with them even if they’d hummed a few bars for me.
They asked me how I thought of myself… as a solution creator, a demand creator, an integration leader, or a client service provider. They lost me at “or.”
When professionals gather, why does the air go out of the room? What is this thing about how we all have to behave like Samurai and scowl and say “Hai!” a lot? Why can’t we loosen the fuck up?
Bottom line, no offer was or would be forth-coming, and I felt really bad about that. I felt like I wanted the offer, even though I hadn’t asked for the opportunity. Once they had seen my shining light, I thought, there should be no reason for them to do anything but strew palm fronds and greenback dollars in my path.
It’s possible that I didn’t sell myself well, because I know how easily I can be bought, and damned if I wanted to work with a bunch of stiffs. When we parted it was the typical “Don’t call us, we’ll call you,” and I wanted to scream, “You did call me you buncha rack-racka-growly-monkey penises.”
All of which goes to the point of professionalism I guess. It’s about going after the win every time and sorting out the trophys later.
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Bruce 04.12.06 at 6:49
Although I know you’ve done it all along, it’s great to see you writing more.
I’m going to get your new site linked up here soon. I have some mental block about adding to the blogroll. Similar to the one attached to cleaning the bathroom.
Mike Golby 04.12.06 at 1:10
Bruce uses the most appropriate word, i.e. ‘writer’. Bear in mind he’s a writer who does it professionally. And that’s meant to sound obscene. Both of you are bloggers, damn it; natural-born writers whose honesty and integrity will always be at odds with a weak-kneed world. So what? Write some more. Continue to tell it like it is. Like this post. It’s fucking great. You taking something, Frank? Your keyboard’s singing. Is it taking something? Where can I get some? C’mon, you can tell me…
Taran 04.16.06 at 12:51
Sounds to me like they didn’t understand when yu said you weren’t a rainmaker…
I get calls like that along more of a technical nature, but the sad thing is that I get that sort of conversation when it comes to ‘can we get the widget to do xyz?’
“So, can you do this?”
“Yes, I can do that.”
“How long will it take, how much money?”
“I’d need more details, in writing, before I could tell you more…”
“Oh.”
And the clincher if I’m in the wrong mood:
“Why not just send me the brochure that you’re sending to your customers? I could probably give a quote based on that…”