Write-in Weinberger for President

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  • by Frank Paynter on October 6, 2024

    With a platform that has something for everybody, David is a shoo-in!

    Frank’s favorite planks:

    End the current superstitious rituals at airport security that any fifteen year old could figure out how to get around. Instead, require every passenger to rub a lucky rabbit foot.

    Pass SHANANA: Stop the Hilarious Absurdity: No Acronyms Naming Anything act.

    New policy about gays in the military: “Don’t Ask, Don’t Care. Be Fabulous.”

    Printed newspapers by law will have to backdate themselves one day.

    Increase national curiosity.

    Government offices will use open source software unless they’re being punished.

    Marijuana would be as legal as alcohol, but only until you’re 35. Frankly, after that it’s time to grow up.

    Secretary of the Internet becomes the first wiki-based cabinet post.

    Dick Cheney goes to jail, even if we have to plant something on him.

    There’s already a groundswell of support. Hell, I’m gonna write-in Weinberger in 2024. 2024 may be too late.

    { 1 trackback }

    Dane101
    10.14.06 at 8:00

    { 5 comments… read them below or add one }

    alan herrell - the head lemur 10.06.06 at 5:04

    RE: Rabbits foot…
    isn’t very lucky for the rabbit.

    Frank Paynter 10.06.06 at 5:39

    I’m sure he means a polyester rabbit’s foot, a green alternative… a simshaw kind of thing, only furry and soft, not hard and ivory-like.

    The Zero Boss 10.07.06 at 3:14

    Unless he has a program for the institution of neighborhood harems, there’s no way he’s getting my vote.

    Dean Landsman 10.07.06 at 6:48

    Dick Cheney’s secret police are already planning to have you and the good doctor, uhh, mysteriously disappear.

    Oops, now that I comment-blogged this, and thereby went public, I guess my days are numbered, too.

    Frank Paynter 10.07.06 at 7:25

    Alas, the dream is over. Join me in my support for the “Draft Amanda” movement.

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