For Dave Winer on the occasion of his new car…
To the tune of Little Deuce Coupe (.mp3)
Little deuce Minivan. You don’t know, you don’t know what I got.
Well I’m not braggin’ babe, so don’t put me down,
But I’ve got the fastest set of wheels in town.
When something comes up to me, he don’t even try, ’cause if it
Had a set of wings, man I know she could fly.
(She’s my) Little deuce Minivan. You don’t know what I got.
Just a little deuce Minivan with the flathead mill,
But she’ll walk a Thunderbird like it’s standing still.
She’s ported and relieved, then she’s stroked and bored.
She’ll do a hundred and forty in the top end, floored. CHORUS
She’s got a competition clutch with the four on the floor,
And she purrs like a kitten ’til the lake pipes roar.
And if that ain’t enough to make you flip your lid.
There’s one more thing… I got the pink slip, daddy!
And comin’ off the line, when the light turns green,
Well she blows ’em out of the water like you never seen.
I get pushed out of shape, and it’s hard to steer
When I get rubber in all four gears.
— (Apologies to the Beach Boys)