Listics

It was a year or so ago that Golby reported on Ratzinger’s appointment of Father Christopher as Archbishop of Hollywood, and of course the rest is history.  The good father’s selflessness, his modest example was another jewel in the diadem of faith reserved for the Church’s Grand Inquisitor.

Okay.  Check that out.  Golby is of course a serial fantasist, a writer with delusions of truth seeking.  But Ratzinger has been appointed by Christ’s own holy representative here on earth to uphold the TRUTH and the WAY.  One way, I understand.  As Christ his own self woulda wisht it.  No tolerance for deviation, by gum.

And now the drama of the white smoke at the Vatican will play itself out, and the world’s Catholics will again ride the pendulum of papistry as it cuts a swath through AIDS, unwanted pregnancy, and helps us all cultivate a vision of equal rights regardless of gender or sexual preference.  Makes me proud to live in a nominally Xian country. Of course, I was prouder when Simone de Beauvoir and Jean Paul Sartre held sway.

How empty headed do you have to be to rest on a pillow of marshmallow dreams of choirs of angels, puffy little clouds, harps, songs, dancing optional, and a big daddy watching over you (while down below those like me are tormented because we do by god deserve eternal torture and damnation and if it’s good enough for those christless ragheads here on earth then so much the better that the unbelievers will get their just desserts).

What a stupid and cowardly way to go through life.  Remember what it was like a year or so before you were born?  I’m pretty sure that’s what it will be like a year or so after you die.  For you I mean.  We’ll all miss you terribly, and your good work will of course live on, but grow up christians…  ain’t no heaven, ain’t no hell… only big oil, Chuck and Camilla, Cheney, and Disney Incorporated…  just the stuff we’re surrounded with right here.  And if you believe otherwise, well Dick Cheney would like very much for you to bend over and lube up.  And perhaps so would the sweet and earnest Cardinal Rat.

Anyone out there laughing at the muslim wannabe martyr’s delusion of heavenly virgins?  It’s as real as the xian mythos.  How can you laugh at one and embrace the other?

I hope the world gets a pope that installs condom machines in the women’s restrooms at catholic high schools, fronts the money to terminate hopeless life-threatening, and miserable pregnancies, opens the priesthood to married women, supports prosecution and treatment for deviate priests, and stands up against war and capital punishment no matter what Bush league industrialist he must confront.

i hope he sells the Vatican to the Church of England and I hope that the damn place goes condo shortly thereafter.

Those god old boys sure do know how to help us out of our despair.