Listics

Voters in Utah, Montana, Wyoming, and Idaho favor Kerry over Bush almost 2 to 1, according to an independent survey conducted by Metapollsters, Inc. The startling revelation factors three important demographic data vectors that other traditional, or “trad” polling companies miss, or choose to ignore.

First, the fear factor: Almost everyone surveyed required an almost paranoid level of assurance that their privacy would be respected. “When you’re dealing with thugs, expressing your true feelings can get you hurt,” according to one confidential source. “If these people would sew anthrax in the halls of congress and major media outlets, what do you think they’d do to dissenters in their midst?” asked another. Following up on this issue in Wyoming and Montana there was almost universal agreement that Cheney was behind the anthrax ploy that added confusion to the mix in those terrible days after 9/11.

Second, cell phones: “Yeah like we have a lot of cell phones in the mountain states,” said one scoffer. A little digging by the Metapollsters unearthed the information that almost 50% of Idaho residents have a cell phone. Metapollster further estimates that barely ten percent of these people have been sampled in land-line polls. Extrapolating likely voters and voter preferences in the population that the trads have ignored, there is a blue shift in the mountain states.

Third, women: Women, especially in Utah, have been a little intimidated by Ms. Heinz-Kerry. This intimidation has shown in lowered trad polling numbers. Here again, the Kerry team is counting on the secret ballot effect to boost the trad numbers. “There’s a complex emotional landscape we’re sampling here, and it doesn’t really have much to do with Bush scare tactics about abortion,” said the Metapollster representative. “We are hearing some surprising things in our in depth interviews.”

“I’d be afraid to mud-wrestle with her, ne’mind getting into a hissing, spitting, scratching contest,” was the way one Utah housewife put it. “But over-all, I have a powerful respect for her and her husband. The fact that the Bush family did in her first husband wasn’t all that obvious to us until we saw Carnahan and Wellstone go down the same way. So it’s with a lot of love and respect that most of the ladies I know will be voting for Senator Kerry this year.”