Elisa has posted a notice about room 8111, a quiet space for breast feeding moms, and then - Friday afternoon - a quiet space to gather and remember meg. Earlier today I was wondering how, why, I took on this assignment. I had just gotten out of a two hour meeting where I’d taken responsibility for a web site, reported on my connection with Marshall Massey, put off discussing this year’s draft counseling and counter-recruitment efforts and basically exhausted myself on the first day of vacation.
This morning we took sweet Molly Bloom and Veneta the cat to the kennel where Molly will get special treatment for a week’s convalescence. It pained me to leave the dog. It was just a month ago that I got a call in San Francisco that she’d been hit by an ambulance. She’s healing, but her right rear leg is still pretty painful and useless. Will it heal? We hope so. It;’s getting better.
That same weekend the world lost meg. Will we heal? I’m sure we will, but I’ve been having a pretty rocky ride for the last several weeks. Snappish. Inappropriate. Grieving within.
I talked to a few people then and Jeneane was right there supporting the idea of a face to face memorial at BlogHer, and I thought I could help make that happen with Jeneane, the original Blog Sister, there at BlogHer backing it. Now we don’t know if Jeneane will be well enough to come. And how can I support her in her pain when all I can offer even my puppy is some medication?
Well, Beth’s doing the laundry and I have to do the dishes if we’re going to be able to get out of here and get on the road. Portland tomorrow. The ranch by Wednesday. San Jose Thursday night. meg’s memorial Friday. Meeting with old friends and new acquaintances Friday and Saturday, and back to the grindstone by next Sunday.
We had planned our travel to include lunch in West Sacramento on Thursday. Now I think we’ll skip the five, drive out to the sea, and come down one-oh-one.
The memorial will be simple, some people sitting together quietly and speaking of meg and our remembrance. I’m sure love will fill the silences between memories, and in the end we will go back out into the daylight and resume our daily lives. I hope some of meg’s friends are at BlogHer and can join us.
This shit breaks my heart…
Ironic, isn’t it. The event I want so badly to go to, a part of the country I’ve never been to, an opportunity to meet so many women and men I’ve never met, and its my womanhood that’s putting me on shaky ground.
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