met with the cardio specialist today (and his “fellow,” only she wasn’t actually a fellow, quite the opposite really, perhaps a sly trick by the cardiology team to see what might happen to my EKG, but I digress…)
so the specialist and his fellow, they said “Your heart sometimes is beating a little fast, is that what’s troubling you Bunky?”
and I was all like, “Yeah, that’s what happened, I guess.”
and they were all like, “Well, based on the tests,” and here they pulled out an impressive array of charts with waveforms scribbled across them. “We’re pretty sure that you’ve got a case of AtrioVentricular Nodal Reentrant Tachycardia or AVNRT as we in the heart biz like to call it.”
so I was like, “What’s that mean exactly?”
and they were like, “Sometimes your heart beats fast.”
and I was all like, “Dohhh.”
and they said, “There are three things you can do. 1) You can let us slide a laser up this artery from your inner thigh into your heart and burn the nerve path away that causes the tachycardia; or, 2) You can take these pills that will slow your heart way down, take them in the morning though so you don’t die in your sleep, and we have the two kinds of pills, the calcium blockers that make your ankles swell up like you’ve been infected with elephantiasis, or the beta blockers which will make you all impotent and like that; or, 3) You can do nothing and just address it when and if your heart beats fast again.”
I tried to keep a straight face. “AVNRT? I queried.
“Fo’ shizz” says the surgeon. “Big ups on the short term memory, dude!” says his fellow (who ain’t).
“So the laser thing,” I muttered, and they took it from there with much talk about ablation and curative and 90% success rate…
“About that 10 percent?” No problem, no problem, if they don’t get it the first time they just go in again, leave what looks like a hickey on your thigh, scarcely one in a hundred end up with the wrong nerve scorched and a permanent pacemaker implanted, and I don’t think we’ve ever had a little mix-up like that here at Seattle Grace…
Bullshit, thinks I. I’ve watched that show. DNA flying all around the OR. But they’re all like, “It’s an outpatient procedure and we have two of the best electro-physiologists available for the job.”
“Tell me about that third option.”
“Well, what you have isn’t life threatening.”
“That means it won’t kill me, right?”
“Exactly. And if you experience discomfort you can do one of a number of things. You can bear down like your having a bowel movement.” (I’m thinking, yeah, like I want to crap my pants). “Or you can massage your carotid arteries and interrupt the looping that’s going on in your heart nerves. Or some people find if they splash cold water on their face they can make their heart slow down.”
End result: I let them write me a scrip for the calcium blocker (generic, five bux co-pay). I took it home and stuffed it in the drawer. I’m going to try the cold water on the face thing if it happens again.
[tags]General Hospital, ER, Grey’s Anatomy, Ben Casey, George Clooney, Quincy, etc[/tags]
Nothing about going off caffeine (if you use it) or forms of exercise or nutritive ways to address it?
Interesting question, Tom. While they did mention caffeine as a possible trigger, and my merely “fair” level of fitness as measured by the treadmill tests as a concern, they left it to me to infer that less caffeine and more exercise will be in order. After all they are specialists, and they are delivering health care aimed at a specific complaint. They know how to “cure” AVNRT by ablation, so why bother me with complications related to life style changes?
In fairness, the last appointment in this round of consultations and examinations comes next week with my family physician. I’ll tell him about my decision to leave the condition untreated for now, and I expect he’ll tell me to lose weight, exercise and cut back on caffeine, changes that friends, family, and my own conscience have suggested already and that I’m trying to effect.
It would be interesting to know if there’s a diet that can accomplish what the beta blockers or calcium blockers do without the side effects.
My dad had a chronic arrhythmia that is probably quite distinct from the Avnurt, then again maybe not, but anyway, he was put on Beta Blockers (this was back in the late 80s or so, whole different generation of meds of course) and they proved quite a bad idea. Major disorientation, shakes, etc. He took himself off of them and went cold turkey on coffee, and saw immediate good results. He also swore that garlic pills helped. Any sort of garlic, but he used Kyolic garlic. Didn’t altogether resolve issue, but stabilized and it became a non-issue.
I really don’t like the idea of dropping the coffee entirely. I’m such an abstemious schmuck already. Dropping caffeine, fat and sugar would leave me empty. Life (sob) would scarcely be worth… (choke) I wonder if Betty Ford has a program for coffee addicts?
>“Fo’ shizz†says the surgeon.
He did not.
p.s. try organic coffee. yum.
pps. best writing ever! (you got a teenager?)
swimming, tea and a couple of sun salutations a couple of times a day. less complaining, Mr. J. Wellington Wimpy.
(i’ll chat you a piece of my mind later, innit.)
I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a cholesterol laden glob of fried beef on a bun today!
* * *
zo, the surgeon WAS a teenager.
(trying out a password protection thing for my blog and attempting to find a work-around for the default pw page… just an experiment. username=actualreader password=montaigneoutofmolehill if you care.)
no, frank, i was having Very Severe arrhythmia for a couple of months, which can be a side effect of the mean-o-pause. i switched from being a chronic coffee drinker to being a chronic black tea drinker and it stopped. so i get my caffeine and drink it too. of course, to rule out the possibility that it was a coincidence i tried coffee again and the “i’m having a heart attack” arrhythmia came back immediately. YMMV.
if chris can quit smoking…
and,”it’s not lupus“.
It could be lupus…
Ain’t modern medicine wonderful! Splash cold water in the face indeed… Why even suggest (1) and (2) if it is not life threatening and cold water in the face will take care of it? Guess they just needed to meet their monthly quota of destroying nerve pathways…
I’m with you on the splashing water on the face – yes indeed! And how’s about less coffee rather than no coffee? Or whatever you choose I trust your judgment. After all, you know your body best!
Fabulous story! Just my cup of tea…
Winston, in fairness to Meredith and Dr. McDreamy, it’s how they’ve been taught. Their customers expect them to offer pharmaceutical and/or surgical solutions. I asked them why someone would elect surgery since it’s not life threatening and it’s easily controlled. They told me about the roofer who didn’t think twice about taking the curative surgical option. In no way did he want to be two stories off the ground faced with sudden dizziness, clamminess, and weakness. That said, your sense of the market dynamics here are probably exactly right. They hire those highly qualified electrophysiologists so they can do expensive procedures.
Tamarika, thanks!