Ronni Bennett posted on the recent US Supreme Court decision that erodes progress that pro-choice advocates have made over the last forty years or so. She cross posted at BlogHer and two active and different discussion threads opened up on the topic. I felt welcome to comment at Ronni’s, but I don’t feel welcome at BlogHer. Too bad, because those gyno-centric discussions at BlogHer could sometimes use a little y-chromosomal leavening. Particularly in this matter of a woman’s right to choose, the echo of a male partner’s feelings would provide a dimension that’s missing from the discussions so far.
The BlogHer blog is behind a glass wall for me. It’s a place where men can link but they can’t touch. I don’t feel that in a nice way, like I do at Blogsisters. BlogHer reminds me of Ms. Coming out of the sixties, there was Ms. magazine. Ms. was a corporate media co-optation of the second wave of feminism that was bringing equal treatment of women center stage. I think BlogHer is like a little Ms. I think it will continue to be profitable for the women who own it. I don’t think it’s bounded condition will limit the expression of those who are welcome there. I think, in fact, that like Ms. magazine it will empower women, support them in their search for free expression. And help them find the best gyno-brands, like Virginia Slims.
I read a lot of blogs by women. One blog, by Mina, reflects a blogger that I think would be welcomed without question in the BlogHer community. Mina linked to me, and I followed the link back and read her work. I don’t know how long I’ll stay interested, but she seems like a nice person with a strong sense of herself. She reminds me of Danah Boyd, only with christ on the cross instead of the burning man thing.
Another is by Leslie, someone who may not be all that welcome at BlogHer. I will always read Leslie, even though she makes fun of me for my intemperate use of extraneous apostrophes. I love her work and it so transcends the BlogHer corporate community values bullshit that I am embarrassed to reference her in the same paragraph. See how red my face got? Embarrassed!
Unlike Leslie’s blog, where self-expression rules, BlogHer is a meta-creation, a place where the voices of the owners emerge mostly to create boundary conditions and to steer marketing intentions, a place that provides a little curtsey toward revenue generation for all, while serving as a potentially bottomless rice bowl for the big three.
In a little ironic twist, earlier this week Ronni felt the need to explain her own linking behavior. Ronni’s blog has emerged as a web publication with a solid foundation covering the elder beat. Ronni seems poised to monetize readership based on the quality of her work. This is great. It’s in the best traditions of independent journalism. Day after day Ronni’s integrity and clear vision shine out as a counterpoint to the compromises that inform the work of the mass audience builders like Scoble and the ladies of BlogHer. Ronni is one of several bloggers who remind me of Esther Roisman’s husband.
A month ago I found myself apologizing to Kathy Sierra for being a MeanKid. I have mixed feelings about that apology today. Kathy treated a couple of my friends in a miserable way, and the crush of public opinion that she generated with her accusations was out of proportion to those people’s real or perceived culpability. But Kathy had a sound personal reason for her obdurate behavior. The ladies at BlogHer, on the other hand, chose to engage in a way that so far has diminished us all. They’ve held up their own mass media code as a model for individuals, and they’ve been part of the clamor to erase all the shades of gray from the unfortunate situation that Kathy brought to our attention, and turn it into something black and white at the expense of some of their own best supporters.
So ladies, here’s what it is…
Dear god, Frank. Of all the comparisons and compliments I’ve had in my entire life – good and bad – I’ve never been so pleased, flattered and proud as to be compared to Izzy Stone. I’m speechless.
“They’ve held up their own mass media code as a model for individuals, and they’ve been part of the clamor to erase all the shades of gray from the unfortunate situation that Kathy brought to our attention, and turn it into something black and white at the expense of some of their own best supporters.”
Frank: I feel I must clarify that it is others who have used BlogHer’s community guidelines as a model for a more sweeping code, without ever contacting us or involving us. We have repeatedly stated that we think every site owner/blogger can and should set their own policies and tone…but that it is inappropriate and moreover impossible to apply any code across the blogosphere or Internet as a whole. Thanks.
Elisa, on that point I stand corrected.
In a world that’s largely male-only space, I see the point of and can appreciate women-only spaces.
I’d like to see more men come to the realization that there are aspects of life that are simply not All About Them.
I’m more than a little pissed at you, Frank, for taking so long to come out with the explanation of events. It was too little, too late. Way too late. Kathy abused all of you and in the shitstorm pretended to make nice while her post lay there largely unmodified, unrepentant for weeks.
Now that it’s been archived in an unreadable format (because a supposed tech geek like her could not figure out how to make it even somewhat legible even if the original formatting was “lost”) and covered afterward with a nice lil all-i-ever-wanted-to-do-was-help post replete with her “best of,” (bullshit on top of bullshit) the mission is complete — all of you have been effectively shuttered. Only daffodils and sunflowers grow in the ‘verse now.
Y’all won’t say it, but I will: you were had. And now that the storm has passed and all the bajillions have left with unchangeable impressions, you are left with sullen what-just-happened-here echoes.
Doesn’t matter if the punch to your jaw was delivered in a velvet glove. When you’re stuck in a barroom brawl, defend yourself accordingly.
Charles, I do not agree. I don’t owe the blogosphere immediate turn-around, and neither do you.
Indeed bajillions of butterfly-brains fluttered through and took away erroneous impressions based on Kathy’s imprecise and misleading postings. But there is a game called “Let’s you and her fight” that I was not playing then and I am not playing now. When Kathy returns to an active presence on the web I expect that I will encounter her from time to time just as I always have.
A good many people played their shock tape (“I’m shocked, simply shocked to find [fill in the blank] online!”) and among them were people who stand to gain from creating “us” and “them” communities around their own business interests.
The reason I have mixed feelings about the apology is because Kathy never really came back and owned her part of the misunderstanding she helped create. Someday she may.
Well, I’m not saying y’all had to respond to each and every bit of bs flung your way, but it was, imho, imperative that you state the deal fully and completely at least once during the slingfest and then you could take a seat. It’s almost pointless to do it so long afterward.
I mean, if a response grows in a desert and no one is there to see it and all that… sheesh.
You guys took it in the teeth all the way up the high road.
Frank, thank you for that song.
I needed the cheese – and that track suit.
But is it a glass ceiling, or a one-way mirror?
One sided apologies = 🙁
//
And, as for someone who breaths air…
Elayne, woman-only spaces smack of elitism, and as Modern Human Beings, why on earth would anyone want to be associated with a space that discriminates on any physical trait? It’s disgusting and archaic.
I agree with you one one edited level: I’d like to see more Human Beings come to the realisation that there are aspects of life that are simply Not About Them.
Jess
🙂
the planet isn’t big enough to contain your goodness.
– – – –
Elayne
the BlogHer company is a little schizophrenic vis a vis creating a women-only space. But I like what Jess said about seeing more Human Beings come to the realisation that there are aspects of life that are simply Not About Them.
I can hardly blame Eliza Camahort for coming to clarify BlogHer’s community guidelines here. As the co-founder and president, events and marketing director at BlogHer, she would be remiss if she didn’t. There’s money at stake here, Ladies.
BlogHer Parenting Network readers spend money online. Perhaps most significantly:
# 53% of BlogHer Parenting Network readers have their own blogs with which to publish and amplify their recommendations and referrals.
Can you say sharecroppers?
As for the hoodwinked, Elayne, I’m glad you enjoy women-only spaces. Someone’s just made fascinating post on beach bags at BlogHer. I think they’re on sale!
And if someone were to dig deeply into the K.Sierra situation they might find that it’s a whole lot more complicated than anyone thought. They might find out that a bunch of very important (self described) people were pissed off about stuff being written about them and got K. all worked up into a huge fear state so she would act as their mouthpiece. Maybe. That’s one possible scenario. But we’ll probably never know, will we?
I do know that every time I left an on-topic comment on misbehaving.net (oh, Gosh!, the misbehaving women site seems to be Gornish helfn…) it was deemed inappropriate by the forces that be and erased. Open forum my asslift. Women-only spaces, in my experience, means certain kind of women. Only. Period. Meta-pause.
Ain’t I a woman?
Frank, you really think, after all the evidence to the au contraire, that one single woman is going to get it just on account of your say so? Honey, I got my original Mickey Mouse Cl — er, wait, wrong membership.
No. They going to get it ’cause I say so. (Yeah, right.)
And in closing, I would like to say: Very fine tune, but I have never watched a video before that made me so want to shut my eyes.
Hi Frank…and thank you for an eloquent post on an extremely delicate and diffcult to talk about topic.
You’re not the only one who doesn’t feel all that welcome at BlogHer. Sure, I comment there from time to time, but I’m not a lock-step feminist (one male friend once described me as a “great broad.”) and not a mommy, so I often question whether or not I fit into their scheme of things. From a strictly marketing perspective– I don’t. It concerns me on the one hand–on the other hand I just think maybe it’s time for some of us to maybe do things a bit differently…
As for the Sierra thing….the more I look at it, the more see some glaring problems with how it all went down. A p/r coup at the expense of others? A way of asserting a Silicon Valley dominance over this ‘sphere? I don’t know, and can’t say for sure, but I’m raising my eyebrow again and for different reasons these days….
i love those glass walls. some of those broads at blogher are Niiiii,ceh!!! beats those elder-handicapable-gamblers down at the penny slots! TFFS. i have to agree with you, elayne, i’m all for women-only spaces. call me a feminist. S-nap! craps game at my casa, this weekend. just got the table re-felted. pool’s open and smokin’, my friends. marky mark confirmed. ben affleck, a definite maybe. all welcome. we like diversity in the gambling world. thus says dostoievsky and shit. (two semesters at hampshire college;)
posted my comment here. tried to post it here but it may have had too many links.
Yeah. I found it in my Akismet spam bucket after I got your heads-up. I gave it a get out of jail free card and now it is posted above. Sorry. I have a moderation queue where first time comments land (and that includes comments from people who may have commented before but who change an attribute, like name or email address), and I have the Akismet spam bucket which collects hundreds of things every day. Mostly I don’t go through that list looking for mistakes, but I probably should.
It disturbs me more than just a little that my decision to withdraw from the mars/venus, good/bad, black/white conversations around this are seen as not caring. The truth is that I care, but don’t care to hear the crap so often spouted in the name of goodness, badness, maleness, femaleness. etc. I’m an intolerant bastard and have disengaged from many sources of frustration.
On my employment application, in the field titled Race, I wrote HUMAN. Beyond that, it’s all bullshit.
Ken, here is a good post that is just a good post, one blogger’s thoughts on her own feminism
Meet me in the middle
“But Kathy had a sound personal reason for her obdurate behavior. ”
Half a mo’ …have we an oxymoron on our hands?
BEACH BAGS are on SALE????!!!