Writing Contest

I am not Ray Sweatman. I am not Mike Golby. I am not Jeneane Sessum. I am not Shelley Powers. I am not Madame Levy. I am not Monsieur Partington. I am not Chris Locke. I am not A. Roceal James. I am not Dervala Hanley. I am neither b!X, nor Brian, nor Betsy.

Steve Himmer? Jonathon Delacour? Dave Barry? Joseph Duemer? Steve MacLaughlin? Not me. None of those folks.

Heibel? Matrullo? Golub? S.T. Wonderchicken? Not.

What possessed me? What caused me to enter a 24 hour short story writing contest?

Posted in Arts and Literature
13 comments on “Writing Contest
  1. Doug Alder says:

    Temporary insanity? Impending senile dementia 🙂 A sense of adventure – longing to be a knee dragging biker like Stu (just kidding Stu – that was me in my more foolish younger days) putting it all out there on the line for the adreneline rush? Whatever Frank – I’m sure you’ll come through with flying colours 🙂

  2. Stu Savory says:

    The real talent has been excluded of course, so you’re in there with a chance, fp 😉

    See Rule 6)
    “Contest is open to Wisconsin residents 18 years or older”. No Canadians, Doug.

    And the untimate disqualifier for me is Guideline 1)
    “Submitted stories must be typed and emailed in Microsoft Word.” Yeuch.

  3. Shelley says:

    You don’t give yourself enough credit Frank. Or perhaps you give the rest of us too much. As long as you have fun, that’s key, eh?

    (I can use ‘eh’ here because there are people from Wisconsin and Canada in this thread. Others will have to get a Fargo dictionary. )

    As for ‘knee dragging’ biker. I’m trying to visualize that one…

  4. fp says:

    You have to think one knee at a time… it’s a low into the curves kind of thing.

    I’m psyched up. The topic will be announced in an hour and a half.

  5. Mike Golby says:

    For Chrissakes, you’re Frank Paynter! The Frank Paynter.

    Good God, man, what are you doing associating yourself with the limpwrist, knee-dragging losers, former Hells Angels, camera-toting tree huggers, depraved outlaws, embittered expats, wanderers, wastrels and clueless Canadians listed above?

    They are a bunch of has beens, frauds and crooks; a motely colllection of incompetent fools, cheap whores, gasoline-soaked chrome monkeys and coke-sniffing politicians. They are not in your league, Frank. Besides, I’ve not spied any of them in the Madison area for months, so you’ve nothing to fear (you can thank Homeland Security and me for that when you’ve banked the check). It’ll a cinch and, if you don’t take it–hell, give me a call and I’ll fix it for you. I mean, what are friends for?

    So, who do you think won the debate, eh?

    PS: What possessed you? I dunno, but as always, in such cases, a second opinion is always considered ‘a good thing’. RB is ‘out of town’ at the moment, but you can ask AKMA. I think it has something to do with demons, bad acid and Satanic music. Like me, he is an expert on these things (WiFi too).

    Should you be unable to raise him before the deadline, have fun. (As if I need tell you…)

  6. leslie says:

    i will post my unofficial entry within 24 hours. keep in mind i have the flu and stage fright.

  7. Gee, read that post and as a result all I can hear in my cranial jukebox is The Who’s “Who Are You?”

    I, for one, am the eggman. Goo goo ka choob.

  8. fp says:

    I am the fucking walrus. I adopted a 7th grade voice, ruthlessly purged polysyllabics, spun a romantic modern yarn worthy of publication in any of the dozens of 1955 women’s magazines, and sent it off to be judged. Now I will either lose because the judges are inept or because my writing was poor. The odds are 200 to 1 that I spent my energy and my fifteen dollars fruitlessly. Some people would rather be planning to write. some would rather be writing. Others would rather have written. I am definitely not in this latter category.

  9. ARJ says:

    Go, Frank, go! Your experiences and verbal skills are on a level that I would be pleased to poorly emulate.

    But I did get a big kick that you mentioned me in such infamous weblog company. Especially since I have the writing ability of Bill the Cat at the moment. Bleah (or Phttbltt?). I really need to do something about that.

  10. fp says:

    I find that coughing up a hairball often unclogs those blocked writing channels.

  11. Stu Savory says:

    so how did it go? Are you gonna blog the tale for us? When do U/we hear the results?

    There’s a photo of Mathew kneedragging, taken from my rear seat-hump webcam, here:-
    http://www.savory.de/ueben.jpg just so you get the idea. Don’t mistake me for a knuckle-dragging biker as Mike may 😉

  12. lanano says:

    Gee, read that post and as a result all I can hear in my cranial jukebox is The Who’s “Who Are You?”


  13. fp says:

    Great… now I have it running around in my head too.



Recent Comments