Listics

A reconstruction of recent events is called for, if only because a certain fear-driven and angry man threatened and insulted some people with whom I am virtually close. This man is a master of flame-warfare, a troll extraordinaire. Two things I find challenging in his behavior are his extraordinary assertion of control of a moral high-ground and his refusal to seek common cause with those he finds disagreeable. His behavior reminds me of nothing more than the behavior of Republicans in control of a legislative body, unless it is a large muddy hog in a well appointed living room, feeding on anything organic from the houseplants to the fish in the aquarium, knocking over end tables, crushing the crystal tschochkes beneath his cloven hoofs, shitting all over the double-saddlebag Kirman carpet and rolling in it.

Very few IT projects run smoothly, start to finish. If all projects have three phases, a beginning, a middle, and an end, then clearly it would appear that success in the final phase counts most in measuring the success of the project. A project that begins with a pratfall and a bloody nose can end successfully. A project that begins as a walk in the park on a sunny day can end with a grand piano crashing down on your head. Or a safe. (Just as an aside, I’d like someone to explain why Wily Coyote didn’t just order up some steaks from Acme. What exactly was the point of chasing that stringy bird when Acme delivered take-out for the asking? But - truly - I digress).

My challenge now, is to lay the groundwork for the post-implementation follow-up assessment on the weblogs.com migration and conversion. Unfortunately, I am also mired deeply in the “cover the earth project.” Aluminum tubes have been seconded from our suppliers (Halliburton, I believe) in Iraq. I understand we got a great price. Yellow-cake Velveeta is even now being scheduled for delivery from our supplier in South Africa to Zurich and a cog-railway trans-shipment to some of the higher Alps commanding northern, western, and southern slopes. Dental offices are being ransacked on four continents in an effort to lay in sufficient supplies of laughing gas as a propellant in our giant Cheese Dispersal Apparati (CDA). Europe will be a pilot project, a test of sorts. If we can smother the laughing reading cows of France in two meters of American processed cheese product we’ll know we have a winner.