The R Word

The only people more cruel than kids are grown-ups. One day last August Rahm Emanuel reminded us of that when he called liberal activists “retarded.” I’m sure he brought that insult with him as baggage from the school yard. Early last week his off-hand insult was dredged up by Wall Street Journal reporter Peter Wallsten and Emanuel was taken to task for his use of the R word.

“Retarded” has always had a pejorative connotation. Back in the day, degrees of mental retardation as measured by IQ tests carried labels including imbecile, idiot and moron. These words too are more often used as insults than descriptors. In the early sixties families and communities caring for developmentally disabled children found a less loaded label in the term “neurologically handicapped.” But this is such a catch-all phrase that it includes recovering polio patients, cerebral palsy victims, Down syndrome children, paraplegics handicapped by war wounds and many, many more. “Developmentally disabled” has more recently emerged as an acceptable and descriptive euphemism for mental retardation.

We need euphemisms because of the cruel and indiscriminate use of the R word that begins on the playground and ends in the White House. Just as people with other than heterosexual preference have been offended by the “Q word,” Americans of African descent abjure the “N word,” and every other ethnic or culturally different group contends with some kind of appallingly pejorative label applied by a socially dominant caste, so are the developmentally disabled hurt by the R word. The insult carried by some of these appellations can be blunted. For example, the sexuality and gender identity-based culture that was “the gay community” eventually embraced the Q word and became the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered and Queer community.

The coarse humor and aggressive posturing of pre-adolescents (“You queer!” “You retard!”) forming their own identities and groups can be moderated and modified by parents and teachers, but there will–I believe–always be otherization as a way to cement cultural identity. Raising children to recognize and value differences is a way to develop a welcoming, friendly community. Children who think differences involve some kind of zero-sum transaction (“You’re queer, I’m not!”) will grow up to become the Dick Cheneys, the Rahm Emanuels, the Rush Limbaughs of the future.

As a Democrat I’m left with the thought that Rahm Emanuel may be, like Dick Cheney, a morally stunted, aggressive prick; but–he’s OUR morally stunted, aggressive prick. The Wall Street Journal has snookered us again with well timed dysinformation. The good that came out of it was the conversation about our concerns for the well being of people who are hurt by thoughtless, uncaring name calling.