“People wanted to do something. George Bush asked them to shop.”
— Barack Obama, talking about 9/11/2001 with David Letterman
From “The Daily Mash”
DEMOCRATIC candidate Barak Obama last night claimed he was quoted out of context after describing Governor Sarah Palin as a ‘creationist psycho bitch’.
He dismissed the ‘phoney outrage’ of the Republican camp, insisting the remark was not intended to do anything other than draw attention to Governor Palin’s insane beliefs and ugly, bitch-like qualities.
Senator Obama said: “I was simply implying what a stupid, horrible, terrifying freak she is. I can’t help it if people decide to take that literally.
“I was using a metaphor to make the important point that if you want another four years of psychotic, blood thirsty creationists who love sucking the oil industry’s big fat cock, then vote for my opponents.”
He added: “I did then go on to say that if Jesus came down from heaven and told me I would have to fuck either Sarah Palin or a pig, you’d have to drag me off the pig.
“Now that doesn’t mean I’m comparing Governor Palin to a pig. What I am saying is that if it’s a straight choice between Governor Palin and a pig, I’m fucking the pig.
“If I then went on to say that I’d rather fuck a dead pig than Governor Palin, that should not be construed in any way as a personal attack.”
Senator Obama refused to apologise to the Governor, insisting it would take too long to translate the words into her ‘retarded hillbilly language’.
And, finally…. Sarah Palin’s daughter shares make-up tips.