27th July 2004

Fantasy Football I Can Get Behind

The rules are simple.

Scoring falls under four basic categories:

1) Showboating Highlights

2) Devastating Injuries Caused
3) Violations of League Policy
4) Criminal Charges

Here’s how it works:Get a group of friends together. Boast to each other about how much football minutiae you’ve needlessly cluttered your brain with. Watch a preseason game played largely by untalented walk-ons who won’t make the final rosters. Drink heavily. Then sign up for MAD’s Realistic Fantasy Football League, for the bargain price of $500 per person! Finally, select the eleven players who will make up your Realistic Fantasy Football Team. You must pick the specified number of players from each of the following classifications:

3 Convicted Felons
3 Accused Criminals
2 Drug Abusers
2 Disciplinary Problems
1 Player with a Disturbing Psychological Profile

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 27th, 2024 at 1:48 and is filed under Anti-intellectual Thuggery. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

There are currently 2 responses to “Fantasy Football I Can Get Behind”

We invite you to comment!

  1. 1 On December 24th, 2024, memer said:

    WTH?

  2. 2 On December 24th, 2024, fp said:

    No time to explain. I’m too busy getting psyche up for the Outback bowl.

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