Listics

In a shamelessly self promotional love letter to Lauren Slater, a perfect stranger, perfect because she was a stranger and no blemishes had yet been revealed, not so much as a pimple on the ass, not even a slowly healing monkey bite indicating perhaps a wanton character or at least a personal interest in the erotic possibilities of the neck, Mr. R. Boy of Boulder, Colorado takes credit for the following:

Thesis #5: Human beings recognize each other as such from the sound of this voice.

Mr. Boy goes on to explain that he has altered the text a bit, adding the emphasis in a hope, probably vain, that people would grasp the intent of the passage with the addition of this fillip of typography (I was going for soupçon there where I used fillip, but I was too lazy to dig up the ascii for a c-cedille, but then had to find it anyway to add this explanatory note and thus life proceeds, in nested recursion until we each find ourselves (or would that be our self?) on the bus to oblivion.)

Mr. Boy has provided another substantial alteration to the text that perhaps should be noted. In the marketing manual that was Cluetrain, the passage read “People recognize each other as such from the sound of this voice.” Now the difference between “people” and “human beings” is manifest, viz. the Preamble to the US Constitution wherein it was declared that “We the People of the United States of America…” a circumlocution that permitted the elision of many human beings from the protective shadow of the document. The convergence of meaning between “people” and “human beings” is not yet complete from an archaeological-linguistic perspective, and one can only wonder at the intention behind Mr. Boy’s misquote of the passage. Probably there is no darker purpose here than seduction, a modest enough intention, but I leave it to you, gentle reader, to contextualize, analyze, yes even lionize the author - though he can’t really hide them can he, his lyin’ eyes I mean. And given the immediate context of thesis five, that is to say, it’s precedent thesis four, wherein it is stated, “Whether delivering information, opinions, perspectives, dissenting arguments or humorous asides, the human voice is typically open, natural, uncontrived,” I think we’ve caught Mr. Boy - or should I say MR. LOCKE! - yes! we’ve caught him out in another lie, a prevarication of the highest order, the assertion that this brilliant stream of thought flows uncontrivedly from his mind to your screen without even the intermediation of a spell checker, else how could it be asserted that this is an open, natural uncontrived voice?

I aks you.