I haven’t found an IRC archive yet… but I blogged the IRC chat that I screen-scraped.

I don’t want to drag you into this… you served enough time on the front lines of this debate and suffered for the experience, I’m guessing.

I didn’t have such a soul searching week-end since the time I asked Scott McNeally to compensate “sales” engineers better vs the sales people in front of 3,000 Sales Engineers in 1995. We didn’t get to ask questions ever again except through cards. I was sure I’d be fired for embarassing the CEO in front of such an audience.

I’m sure I came here hoping for some small affirmation that I’m not just a troll and your
comments have helped. Your comments carry the weight of your excellence in Blogging. You blogged in the tech space with a transparency, a sincere effort to gets the facts behind the latest “meme war” and an advocacy for honesty that no one has equaled in my eyes.

I understand that I have hurt Dave Winer and apparently at least one comment on Mike Arrington’s blog (that was deleted) was a deemed offensive and maybe hurtful by him.

I listened to Mike Arrington’s facilitated session on “Core Values” and heard a lot of echos of Mena Trott’s basic message at her conference: we need to raise the standard for civility on the web people cause it’s not right to hurt people.

Mike continued what I feel is a short sighted characterization of Flickr and Stewart Butterfield that I would definately have open for more dialogue if I had been at the conference. Needless to say, it’s good for everyone that I wasn’t there. There’s just too much pent up frustration on my end to handle the event in the manner that Frank did. And I really need to understand why I feel compelled to take up rhetorical arms in this battle of wills over a fair and civilized blogosphere.

I think I would consider myself a coward if I didn’t speak up when I think someone is using the power of their blog to bully. I’ve already admitted repeatedly to being an asshole but I’m balking at admitting to be a coward.

I would certainly support efforts to raise the level of dialogue to a more civilized level but what I hope would happen would be more effective handling of conflict through a wisdom of crowds effect. Sometimes I see such effects in the commment pits of the bloggers I respect the most.

People who partake in the on going dialogue of the web define themselves to others with their words. Those words are, to me, more important that their looks, their personal wealth or the companies for whom they work. I relish a meeting of minds. There’s an opportunity to learn and change from the conflicts that emerge.

There are ideas, values and core principles at stake and I think we find comrades in these discussions that help us endure the injuries of these conflicts and give us the support we need to keep trying to elevate the discussion beyond personal attacks to the underlying issues that are more important.

“McD, being critical of people’s actions, especially when those actions have impact on others is not necessarily trying to change them.”

If weblogging turns into being a community governed by a false facade of ‘being nice’, while ripping others behind their backs, then weblogging deserves to die an ignoble death.

TechCrunch, whether Marshall or Arrington was terribly wrong in their post on Flickr, and luckily they were called on it. I ended up still battling this at Flickr, because I strongly believe that giving users ‘everything they want’ is the mark of a lazy idiot who wants to take the money and run.

More than that, the “I’m so noble” fakeness on top of the backhanded slaps almost made me ill.

Just because Arrington has power today, or Dave, doesn’t mean they have a right to be abusiveness, or cruel, or manipulative.

You have to follow your own path. If it makes you unhappy to fight these battles, then of course stop. But I could give a shit if you’re ‘anonymous’ when you’re being honest.

I wish someone had said something in the conference about this going on in the IRC. The fact that no one did, showed me that this conference, un or not, was just as fake as some of the people there.

It makes me sad, that weblogging values this over the genuinely good stuff we’re now missing because too many people have fallen silent over this bullshit. And I don’t include myself in this.

I’m not going to take Dave Rogers’ line, saying what do I know? I make all this shit up.

I do know bullshit when I see it. I don’t make it up, but it is shoved in my face. And I wouldnt be able to face myself in the mirror if I didn’t push back those times when I see others hurt because of it.

But if you have a chance to find the IRC archives, email me a link. After all, it’s up to the air support to keep informed.

“tweaking tigers?”

Maybe there’s a record of the IRC back channel…

I was trying not to be confrontational… but dave recognized McD as being a hostile blogger and he asked the IRC “Who is McD?” and I commented that I prefer anonymity and that I was just some fan in the bleechers that comments on the game in my blog.

Dave called me a “coward and and asshole” and wnated everyone to know that I’m abusive.

I replied “We’ll I guess I got under your skin”.

Scoble jumped in and echo’ed “McD, your a coward and an asshole”.

I posted some more justifications for anonymity: I blog from work almost exclusively and I delete my blogs to loose readers, etc.

Then I just backed off… It’s clear that once you get on Dave’s list then he feels justified in making sure everyone that trusts him gets the message: don’t trust this guy.

I’ve been giving it a lot of thought and will probably just do a Pilgrim on the whole deal… do something positive with my time and let the urge for confronting bullies rest and save that impulse for a better confrontation.

WWFD, be prudent. “What Would Frank Do?”

Frank was there at BloggerCon and he comportede himself well… I would have been all up in Arrington’s face over deleting my comment when I felt Flickr deserved an admonission of improperly hurled
criticism for their open-ness.

When Mike posted his version of let it go:

“Note to Mike: Don’t fuck with Flickr”

I lost it.

I keep trying to fix people and it does little good. My kid is heading to being a MFC and she’ll help me understand how to be more a counselor to these situations and less of a problem.

She’ll probably tell me that the trick is to get the person to take their pain and use it to motivate change within.

I know that my attempts to confront Winer have caused my more pain than
they should… I just like to think that others on Dave’s list like Sam Ruby, S.P., J.S., and others appreciate what Dave calls “Air Support”.

It’ a judgement call wether to consider the source or start typing in opposition to some uncontested claims.

I’ll keep fighting that internal debate and come out a better person for the effort… I hope. I just don’t want to retire from the field because I do indeed turn out to be a coward.

Life is a process of learning… I’m learning from this whole exercise in virtual community.

I do have the name for my new weblog whenever I do start it again.

Frank, I wish you would write more about what happened when the recordings faded to black. In a group email if you’re afraid of the Big Dog.

Speaking of which, glad Molly is going to be okay.

I almost joined the IRC with today’s Bridge discussion. I was going to write ‘Neener neener’ when Dave took credit for the start of Blogher.

Is there a transcript of the IRC? McD were you tweaking tigers?

Please disclose some details of the dinner… maybe in the comment pit.

My experience in the IRC just makes it perfectly clear that blogger about Winer’s foibles in best done anonymously.

Dave makes it sound like his problems with me are my anonymity but there a malice behind his words when you’re on his list that makes me glad he can’t villify my good name. The people he does villify explicitly informs me that this is not a personality one should take lightly.

I really don’t understand the attraction he has from so many otherwise perfectly wonderful people… Doc, Dave W, Steve G, Scoble… I just don’t get it.

But… that’s just me and a few other brave souls that find his Mr. Hyde to be more frightening than his Dr Jeckyl.