Tom Matrullo has offered this tidbit in an ongoing business development seminar hosted online by Doctor Marek J. and Doctorette J. Sessum. No mention was made of the remarkable asymmetry of first and last initials of the seminar leaders… it remained for me to remark on same… that’ll be 32 cents please (US currency or postal stamps gladly accepted). Perhaps before sampling the wares of il Dottore Matrullo (he who has no-J in his name anywhere, unless perhaps it is hiding in a long concealed middle, sort of the J-luncheon meat in the Tom (?) Matrullo cognomencature), it would be appropriate for me to post the bill of fare as recently crafted by JS…
Pricing for Conversation Bundles–Get Yours TODAY!
Emergent anything: $.02
Penis jokes: $500.00
Vagina jokes: $505.00
Talk of My pain – $1,000.00
Talk of your pain – $10.00
Sex Talk: $934.00
Conference blogging: $.01
And now on to our featured material…
“It works for me!”
– Paul I. Chich, satisfied owner of 12,001 dead conversations.
No matter what the conversation chanced to be about, he always contrived to maintain his part in the same. Did the discourse turn upon horse-breeding, upon horse-breeding he happened to be peculiarly well-qualified to speak. Did the company fall to discussing well-bred dogs, at once he had remarks of the most pertinent kind possible to offer. Did the company touch upon a prosecution which had recently been carried out by the Excise Department, instantly he showed that he too was not wholly unacquainted with legal affairs. Did an opinion chance to be expressed concerning billiards, on that subject too he was at least able to avoid committing a blunder. Did a reference occur to virtue, concerning virtue he hastened to deliver himself in a way which brought tears to every eye. Did the subject in hand happen to be the distilling of brandy–well, that was a matter concerning which he had the soundest of knowledge. Did any one happen to mention Customs officials and inspectors, from that moment he expatiated as though he too had been both a minor functionary and a major. Yet a remarkable fact was the circumstance that he always contrived to temper his omniscience with a certain readiness to give way, a certain ability so to keep a rein upon himself that never did his utterances become too loud or too soft, or transcend what was perfectly befitting.